What Is Marriage?
Marriage is a solemn contract, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, and it is by its nature ordered toward the procreation and education[1] of children. While marriage was established in the Garden of Eden by God, it was raised from a natural institution to the dignity of a sacrament by our Lord Jesus Christ. It is one of the Sacraments of the Living.
Why is the Church so adamant about maintaining the integrity of this unique union of a man and woman? The first key to understanding this question begins with Saint Paul’s marvelous teaching that the union of husband and wife is an icon of the relationship between Jesus and the Church (Eph 5:22-32). The second key is that the Christian family is a communion of persons, a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Ghost.
Marriage, when validly contracted, is a life-long commitment that lasts until the death of one spouse. A truly valid marriage can never be ended by divorce.
The Requirements for a Valid Marriage
Like all sacraments, the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony requires valid form and valid matter.
The Form of the Sacrament: For marriage, the form is the vows the spouses make to each other (i.e., “I take thee…”).
The Matter of the Sacrament: One man and one woman who are free to contract the marital union (i.e., they are unmarried, not related to each other within the third degree, etc.). They must be willing to enter the union under their own decision (e.g., they cannot be forced by their parents, they cannot be intoxicated when pronouncing vows, etc.). They must be aware of the contract they are entering into (e.g., they must know this union is mutually exclusive, lasts until death, and gives the spouse marital rights). And they must be open to the purpose of marriage: the raising of children.
A Natural Marriage vs. a Sacramental Marriage
A natural marriage refers to a valid marriage between a man and a woman that is recognized as a natural institution, even if it is not sacramental. A natural marriage is based on the natural law understanding of marriage as a union between one man and one woman for the purpose of procreation and raising children.
While the Catholic Church holds that marriage between baptized Christians is a sacrament, a natural marriage is recognized as valid and binding even if one or both spouses are not baptized. This means that non-baptized individuals can enter a valid natural marriage.
The Church recognizes the importance and dignity of natural marriages and holds that they are valid and worthy of respect. However, it distinguishes between natural marriage and sacramental marriage. A sacramental marriage is a covenant between baptized spouses, and as a sacrament, the couple receives the grace of God to support and strengthen them in their union. This special grace can only be received through a sacramental marriage.
In the case of a natural marriage between two non-baptized individuals, the Church recognizes it as a valid and binding union, but it is not considered a sacrament. However, if one or both of the spouses are later baptized, their natural marriage can be elevated to the status of a sacramental marriage through the process of convalidation.
The Church’s Laws on Marriage
The Sacrament of Marriage is governed by other laws which the Church institutes and which is the 6th precept of the Church, to “observe the Church’s laws of marriage.” The Douay Catechism of 1649 summarizes some ofthose requirements:
Q. What is the sixth [precept]?
A. Not to solemnize marriage in times prohibited; that is, from the first Sunday of Advent until the Twelfth day be past, nor from Ash Wednesday until Low Sunday be past.
Q. Why so?
A. Because those are times of special piety and penance and should not therefore be spent in feasting or carnal pleasures.
Q. What sin is it to break any of these Church commandments?
A. A mortal sin of disobedience, according to that “He that will not hear the Church, let him be unto thee as a heathen and a publican.” Matt. xvii. 17.
The Church also requires the presence of an authorized minister (e.g., deacon or priest) to officiate at the wedding ceremony. The presence of two witnesses[2]
is also required to testify to the exchange of consent. Those who did not follow the Church’s laws should seek to have their marriage convalidated so it will be valid in the eyes of God and the Church, thus opening the couple to receive the graces which God gives through the Sacrament of Matrimony to aid the couple in the purpose of marriage.
Openness to Have Children Is Required for Sacramental Matter
Underscoring both natural marriage and sacramental marriage is that marriage exists for the purpose of raising children. As Father Albert recently mentioned in a video here on The Fatima Center’s website, if one (or both) of the spouses had no intention of having and raising children, they would not have a valid marriage. That is to say, they would have neither a natural marriage nor a sacramental marriage. The civil courts might state that they are married, but they are actually not married since openness to having children is required for any marriage. Since the very purpose of marriage is to raise children, this couple would not be entering into this union to fulfill the primary purpose of said union.[3]
(Note: Father Rodríguez also addressed this topic in an Ask Father episode titled ‘Can We Trust Annulments’ on January 16, 2023.)
On a related point, Canon Law further mentions that if one member of the couple is perpetually impotent and is consequently unable to treat this condition with medicine or any other method, the couple would not be able to enter into a valid marriage. Canon 1084 of the 1983 Code states:
- Antecedent and perpetual impotence to have intercourse, whether on the part of the man or the woman, whether absolute or relative, nullifies marriage by its very nature.
- If the impediment of impotence is doubtful, whether by a doubt about the law or a doubt about a fact, a marriage must not be impeded nor, while the doubt remains, declared null.
- Sterility neither prohibits nor nullifies marriage, without prejudice to the prescript of Canon 1098.
It should be noted that this is referring to “antecedent” impotence that is perpetual. Stated another way, if someone becomes impotent after already having received the Sacrament of Matrimony, the marriage was and remains valid. It would only be invalid if at the time the couple entered the marital union the “antecedent and perpetual impotence” existed. Furthermore, impotence refers to the inability to have sexual intercourse, which is not the same as infertility which refers to the inability to procreate. As long as the couple is open to life, the marriage is valid. And if God desires to send them children, He can certainly do so, as He has done before in extraordinary ways, to others who were thought of as infertile.
Prayer to Be Said by Married Couples for Protection from Demonic Attacks
O Mary Mother of grace and of mercy! Protect our marriage against the wicked spirit, reconcile us with Thy Son, commend us to Him, so that we may be made worthy of His promises.
Saint Joseph, foster father of our Saviour, guardian of His holy Mother, head of the holy Family! Be our intercessor, bless our marriage, and defend our homes at all times.
Saint Michael, Guard us against all the wicked wiles of hell.
Saint Gabriel, Make us understand the holy will of God.
Saint Raphael, Preserve us from all sickness and all danger to our lives.
Prayer Source: The Catholic Marriage Manual, published in the 1950s.
ENDNOTES:
[1] We can also say the purpose of marriage is to cooperate with God, to fill Heaven with saints who will glorify Him for all eternity and enjoy the Beatific Vision. Therefore, parents are called to take care of and support their children in accordance with God’s laws and love. In other words, it is not just about having children and raising them any which way, rather it is about forming them in the Catholic Faith; in truth, beauty and goodness.
[2] In ordinary circumstances, the two ‘official’ witnesses are the best man and maid of honor. The priest asks them a series of questions regarding the bride and groom’s marriage eligibility. The two witnesses seal their testimony with their signature.
[3] A wise couple helping people prepare for marriage said the following. “Young people often wonder if they are ‘ready for marriage.’When that issue comes up, the first question we ask is: ‘Are you ready to have children?’ If they are not ready to have children, then they are not ready for marriage. People are often shocked to hear this, but it really is just common sense. If you realize the primary purpose of marriage is the procreation and formation of children, then this is simply natural and logical. When young people are not ‘ready for children’, they should also know they are not ready for marriage.” This wisdom has been lost in our contemporary world which is filled with grave errors regarding marriage. This reality also bears a great deal upon the issue of courting / dating, but that is an involved topic for another article.