J.M.J.
Our final tribute to, and expression of love for, our parents and other close loved ones, is to make sure that their wishes for their funeral Mass and burial are carried out.
It is the last physical act of respect and homage we can pay. There will be no more requests coming from the deceased for help with a project, or help with work around the house, or a drive to church for Mass, etc. It is the last and final gesture.
Of course, we continue praying for them just as we always did, except that instead of the prayers one offers for our parents when they are alive, once deceased, we offer prayers for the repose of their soul.
The sadness upon hearing of the recent death of a friend was compounded when I learned that the family was not going to honor the wishes of their beloved for a Requiem Mass – that is, a Traditional Latin Mass for the deceased.
This was not just some last-minute verbally expressed wish. The fact that this friend only attended (for most of her long life) the Latin Tridentine Mass and went to a chapel where only the Latin Mass was offered should have made it obvious that she wanted a Requiem Mass at the end, and at the same chapel where she had attended Mass daily for decades.
She didn’t leave it as just verbal instructions. Knowing of the conflicts among Catholics and even within her own family, she specifically wrote the instructions for the family so there would be no doubt or misunderstanding. She also made the child whom she believed would faithfully execute her wishes, as the executrix of her will.
But the family decided they knew best. I was told – by a secondary source – that the family was concerned that if they had a Requiem Mass, some of the relatives wouldn’t attend.
Given that the Requiem Mass is for the soul of the deceased, WHO CARES if the relatives don’t show up?!
If the relatives decide to miss out on the last chance to show their respect and do a charitable act for the deceased because of ignorance regarding the Mass of all time, so be it. It is their loss.
But, unfortunately, it seems that the immediate family put the perceived needs of the relatives before the wishes of their own mother and spouse. Regardless of the reasons or excuses, the mother’s (and wife’s) wishes were not heeded.
Perhaps, if the family of the deceased had done their duty before God and carried out her wishes, the beauty of a Requiem Mass might have been instrumental in leading these strangers to this bastion of Catholicity to the correct road – the only road established by Christ 2000 years ago, and to the Mass of all time.
But they won’t know that now. The decision, for which they will likely be plagued with some guilt and doubt over for the rest of their lives, was made, and the wishes of the beloved were deliberately ignored.
Fortunately, while the body of the deceased was taken to a parish where “a Mass of Christian burial” – the modernist terminology for the Novus Ordo Mass for the deceased – took place, at the same time and on the same day, the priests at the chapel where the deceased attended the Tridentine Rite of Mass for decades, offered a Requiem Mass for this deceased member of their chapel.
And the chapel was filled by the true friends of the deceased, who knew and respected the wishes of their dearly departed friend.
So while, what in some places could be described as a service giving praises for – and to – the deceased was taking place at the Novus Ordo parish, in the Traditional Chapel the true Mass – the one that praises, and gives glory and honor to God, and prays for His mercy on the soul of the departed – was taking place a short distance away.
Rest in peace, dear friend, and be assured that your friends will continue to pray for the repose of your soul.